A stretch of time alone, with no agenda…

A vocal rain, tapping on the windows, filling an otherwise sleepy room…

Norah Jones on the record player and a warm beverage by my side…

Tonight seemed like an opportune time to begin my online writing course, mentioned in my last blog post. I logged into the portal and was immediately greeted with a splendid introduction.

“Dear Creator & Lover of Words,

Welcome to the Writer’s Rebellion! Thank you for joining us on this life-changing adventure! Thank you for taking a creative leap of faith, for standing up for your art, your Voice and your Story. We’re psyched and honored to have you aboard, and eager to co-create with you for the days, weeks and months to come.

Please introduce yourself and tell us a bit more about your love affair with writing in the comments:

Where are you currently at in your writing journey? What are the main obstacles you’re facing at the moment? What are the joys of the journey, what makes your heart beat faster about writing?

What’s your desired next stop on this journey? Set 1-2 main goals for this program. What is the most important thing you want to get out of it and to what end? Additionally, set 1-2 goals for your overall journey as a writer — at least the foreseeable future.” -Writers Rebellion

The task at hand seemed like an arduous one at first, I must admit. But then… suddenly… something clicked inside me, like a light switch.

Part I-

Where am I in my creative journey?

I ponder the question aloud before I pause to take a sip of my passion tea, re-position and untangle my legs from my faux fur throw. My laptop hums, waits patiently while perched atop of the couch armrest.  I open up a new Word document. I switch the font to Cambria.

I stare at the blank canvas.

This is where I always begin.

Sometimes, I end here as well. I close the laptop and start tidying up the pillows that are haphazardly tossed on the adjacent loveseat. Sometimes I turn on music and try to channel an emotion, sit alone in the darkness and jot down words that perhaps will evoke a sense of inspiration before giving up, minutes later. Other times, I turn on the TV, scroll through social media, surrender to the canine faces that adorably position themselves on painted toes that poke out from under the blanket. Phone calls from my rarely nine-to-five pulls me up and out of my element, more often than I’d like to admit.

The clock spins quickly here, and many, if not most of my days are devoid of excitable highs and dreadful lows. I am happy, I am content- my demeanor is pleasant on most days with undertones of quiet fatigue. Things are busy, good, fine, well, okay.

So what do I want to do with this course, you ask? I want to dig deeper. I want to uncover the highs and lows, because to be honest, those feelings are there, but buried. Every day I paint this picture of myself, thriving… but am I really? I had two deaths in the family this year. My best friend, my caretaker, my angel of a mother is battling a terrible disease and long distance, I have built my own coping mechanism to be a support system without crumbling myself. I work in a high-stress environment that tests the patience and perseverance of everyone around me, and although we find comfort in the community that we have created, I yearn for creative refuge. My heart is loyal but my soul is fickle, consistently wants to roam and meet new people, see new places. As soon as I satisfy that hunger, I feel this strong desire to return home. But where is that?

Writing collects all of these thoughts, promises solace if I allow myself to bleed on paper. It is paramount therapy. It is my life compass. It has, and always will be, my first love.

I long to get reacquainted, here on this couch, drinking tea as the music slows and the dogs sleep soundly and my phone remains out of reach.

I’m ready to open a new page, set the font to Cambria, and unleash the passionate writer that lives within.

—

Part II- My Vow of Accountability

“Before you move on to the next section and start reading the program recommendations + completing your pre-game Writing Self-Assessment, please take a few moments to recommit again to your art:

Copy & paste the Creative Agreement below on a note on your desktop / tablet / phone, or write it down in your journal, or put it on a post-it, somewhere you can see it often.

Because words have power. Because we, writers, are the creative alchemists who ought to turn them into worlds:”

CREATIVE AGREEMENT |Soul Contract with the Arts

I choose to turn my writing into a priority. I choose to improve and master my communication skills. I choose to create my story and share my truth with passion, fearlessness and authenticity, whatever it takes.

I’ll find a way to write despite all the reasons not to write. I’ll make the time to create even when I think I can’t, when it gets hard, when I resent the process, when what is required of me seems impossible, unbearable or much bigger than me. I’ll find the strength and courage to break through, over and over.

I’ll be as resilient, as diligent, as hard-working and as persistent as I must, until I’m satisfied with my progress, until at last, my world of words is built.

I hereby commit to my lifelong creative work and I accept the the joy and the setbacks that come with the journey.

SIGNED___Britney Faustine___ on (date) ____10/11/18___